Beginning
by chidogs
Summary: Beast Boy reflects of the beginning of his doomed relationship with Terra. One shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I simply borrow them once in a while and return them a little worse for wear.

Beginning

It was a perfect spring day. Strange that he would notice that in this barren place of rocks and dry dust. But it was. And even here he could feel the fragile touch of spring warmth, and could smell the distant scent of new blossoms in the air. Or maybe it was just his own personal reaction when he first saw her. He didn't question why the sight of a fragile little blond girl outrunning a giant scorpion would give him such a feeling. Only that it did. And when she commanded the rocks to fall and crush the creature that pursued her, he felt a jolt of astonishment and wonder. That was nothing to what he felt when they were face to face, and he heard her name was Terra. Had a puddle been some sort of animal, he would have turned into one. Her blue eyes met his, and he wanted to drown in them. Her giggle set his heart pounding at twice its normal speed, and sun glinting off of her pale golden hair made his temperature rise dangerously high. Beast Boy realized that he had never noticed spring before, but now it was in his blood.

Like spring, everything was new. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. And he would catch her shy side-glances in his direction and hope that they weren't just to reassure her that he was really green, it wasn't a trick of the light. He knew he was following her around like a starving puppy, but he couldn't help it. The others were wide eyed and somewhat stunned at Terra's appetite, particularly when she ate, and wanted more of, one of Starfire's alien jello molds. No one else would eat them. It made Starfire take her in as a lifelong friend. Beast Boy decided that he would even take a bite if it would make Terra smile at him again. He would just avoid the wormy things floating in it. He felt himself grinning like a sun struck possum when she left the bathtub and bathroom looking like a swamp of mud. And his heart twisted a little when he realized she had fallen into an exhausted sleep right there in the big central room. How long had she been alone, without a home, without decent food? When had she last had a friend, or anyone to care about her? He determined that he would fill that void, and bring some of his spring into her lonely life. He got little sleep that night, and hopefully, left his room early in the morning.

"Oh, you're up." Beast Boy said, as he walked into the kitchen and tried to conceal the red flush that gave his green skin a strange muddy hue.

"Beast Boy, hi." Terra gave him an uncertain smile. "Sorry I sort of...checked out on you last night."

"You were tired." Beast Boy shrugged. "You hungry?"

"Oh, I am_ so_ hungry. I just didn't want to be rude and start stealing out of the refrigerator." Terra said with a slight giggle.

"Well, it wouldn't be stealing since you're a guest." Beast Boy said. "Why don't I make you something? You, um, like tofu?"

"You know, I like almost anything. But I really love tofu. Tofu steaks, tofu veggie- burgers. And there's this dish they make in the islands with cubes of tofu, bean sprouts, soy sauce..." Terra's blue eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. Beast Boy felt his pulse racing. He leaned on the counter and watched her.

"Wow, that's one I haven't tried." He murmured.

"Well, ya' know, if I stay longer, maybe I can show you how to make it. It's pretty easy." Terry smiled at him

"I'd like that." Beast Boy said dreamily. Then he gave his head a shake and straightened from his bent over the counter pose. "But now, how about some wonderful scrambled egg substitute and toast with strawberry jam?"

"Shouldn't we wait for the others?" Terra asked hesitantly.

"Nah. Everybody makes their own breakfast whenever they get up. Except if someone wants to make something special. Like Cy thinking he's the waffle king." Beast Boy chuckled

"Then I would love scrambled egg substitute and toast. It sounds wonderful." Terra said with a slow smile that dissolved the muscles in Beast Boy's legs for a few seconds.

"Beast Boy's special creamy scrambled eggs and buttery toast coming right up!" With a flourish, he started plunging into cupboards for ingredients. Terra's lilting laugh surrounded him with its crystalline sound. Its music matched the sweetest spring birdsong he had ever heard.

The sun glinted through the soft white clouds onto the obstacle course. Beast Boy stood beside Terra, basking in the glow of her smile. Every chance he had, he made eye contact with her. This giddy feeling was as new as the spring shoots that were just breaking through the ground around the Tower. When he captured her gaze, he felt himself melt at the shy affection he saw in her eyes. For once, here was a girl who wasn't going gooey-eyed after Robin. In fact, she was a little wary of him. That only made Beast Boy fall a little more under her quiet spell. She trusted him enough to speak of her insecurities, and he reassured her that she would do fine on the obstacle course. Cyborg was just strutting his stuff as usual. She mustn't be intimidated by any of it. Besides, it wasn't a judgment on her. It was just like an evaluation. Every one had to do it just to see how they would deal with a variety of situations they might find themselves in. Her lips curved and his heart lurched. He so wanted her to do well, and not just for her sake. He found himself holding his breath, as she got ready to start. He wanted her to astonish them. He wanted her to blow their socks off. He wanted her to succeed so badly it hurt. He wanted her to become a Teen Titan. He wanted her to stay.

She did better than Beast Boy could have wanted. Robin was less than pleased that the obstacle course was more or less trashed, but even he had to admit that she was good, and that her powers were pretty awesome. Plus, the powers that she had were new to the team. No one else had anything like them. Beast Boy felt his hopes soaring. Surely Robin would take her on as a new Titan. It wasn't like they didn't have room in the huge Tower for another member. And it wasn't like they couldn't use an extra team member to handle the ever-increasing problems that were coming up in the city. They had been feeling stretched a little thin lately. Terra would be a wonderful addition. Now if Beast Boy could only influence the Boy Wonder to think the same and stop being so cautious.

Spring showers had to fall. Beast Boy had a sinking feeling when he found Terra outside of the Tower, zinging stones across the glossy bay surface. When she said she was going to leave, he was dismayed, and hurt. Why? Why leave so soon? Had anyone been mean to her, cold to her? He didn't understand. She finally told him. She was afraid. Her powers were strong and she wasn't always in full control of them. She was afraid that someone would find out and that she would get in trouble. Worse, she was afraid that she would cause some sort of disaster by unleashing forces she couldn't handle. Beast Boy felt his heart skip. Leave? No she couldn't. Not now. Not when he thought he had found someone that filled a special place in his life. He quickly began to reassure her. She would be fine. She could learn to control her gifts by using them with the team. No one would get mad at her. They would all help her. But no. The only one she wanted in on this secret was Beast Boy. She made him promise not to tell anyone else, or she would leave right now. Unable to bear the thought of her going away so soon, before he even had the chance to tell her how he felt, he agreed.

It wasn't a secret that Beast Boy was comfortable with. He had never been in the position to keep anything from the team before, and it felt strange to be doing so now. But his feelings for Terra were strong, and he felt understanding for her dilemma too. He knew what it was like to feel insecure. He had battled that feeling many times himself, and still had moments when his powerful friends made him feel a little less than their equal. He was nothing more than the most powerful natural trait of each of the creatures in his biological menagerie. He couldn't summon dark energy to fling things around or melt through walls like Raven. He wasn't skilled in a bazillion forms of martial arts, nor did he have a belt full of exotic weapons like Robin. And just never mind all of the stuff that Cyborg could do. So, yes. Beast Boy understood feeling insecure. He had made a promise and he meant to keep it.

He had no reason to question his promise. Even when Robin let Terra come with them on an alert. He didn't question it as the team went into action and battled the minions of Slade. He only questioned it when Terra made the ceiling come down on his head. Fortunately, he had several hard-shelled creatures he could morph quickly into to avoid being crushed. Unfortunately, it took him awhile to get free of the pile of rubble, and by then, Terra had fled in a state of horror, thinking she had smashed him flat. Beast Boy had gone after her, now very sorry he hadn't been stronger and persuaded her to go to Robin first thing and let him help her learn to use her powers. He found her caught in maelstrom of her own creation, and disregarding his own safety, he threw himself in to save her. And he succeeded.

The spring rains were heavy this year. And so was his heart. Terra had lost control of her powers and had hampered the others in their battle. She had nearly killed him by a miscalculation that brought the stone ceiling down on him, and had turned her own power on herself when her emotions ripped out of control. Only Beast Boy had been able to calm her down and stop the destructive cyclone. He had clutched her trembling form in his arms and had poured out his feelings of protection and comfort to her. But her sense of security was too fragile. When Robin and the others had faced her, and Robin had spoken of her lack of control, she had believed that even Beast Boy had betrayed her. She believed he had broken his promise. Her look of betrayed shattered his heart. He felt tears burn his eyes. But she didn't wait for him to explain. She didn't give him a chance to defend himself. She really believed that he would do that to her. She didn't understand that Robin didn't need anyone to tell him what had been as painfully obvious to someone as skilled as Robin was. And Robin was ready to offer her help. But she didn't wait for it. Instead, she judged them all, found them guilty, and fled. And Beast Boy felt the ache inside of him would never mend. For him, the new, bright, clear colors of spring had faded to shades of gray.


End file.
